Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
