Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
