I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
