We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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