no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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