two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
