haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize