Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My balls are so social today.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
