I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
