Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
