Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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