So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
