What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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