my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
