He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
