Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
