he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
