im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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