I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
