I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I don't deserve a penis
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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