just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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