we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
