he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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