Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
worst night to have a conscience
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
last night I used snow as a chaser
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
