Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
