She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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