ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
