Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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