very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
