I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
