these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
