I must be too annoying 4 u.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
