I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
