During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize