HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
