It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
