3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
