I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My pussy is not your playground.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
