I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
