That's intense
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
