There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I have already put on my inside pants.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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