It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
