it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
