I am puke
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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