I got chris browned last night
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
