Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
