perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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