Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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