I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
