i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
