WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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