Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
