oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
