you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
