Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
there's paper in my vomit.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
