Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry sydvish hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(613): View more from Ontario

Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.

Fav 14 1185 3932
share tweet
(919): View more from North Carolina

Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.

Fav 10 3534 2118
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(828): View more from North Carolina

Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.

Fav 4 2384 1060
share tweet
(704): View more from North Carolina

Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.

Fav 4 961 1565
share tweet
(763): View more from Minnesota

Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...

Fav 21 2267 977
share tweet
(520): View more from Arizona

Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?

Fav 3 1053 553
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort

Fav 1 490 516
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(727): View more from Florida

Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.

Fav 0 33 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(209): View more from California

I think i got beer on your cat.

Fav 0 27 28
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT