I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
People in love make me want to vomit
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
