My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
