Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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