talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
