I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
